Press Room

Supporting Children’s Attachment
by Sarah Uffelmann

As early childhood educators, we know that the development of healthy emotional lives for children doesn’t just happen; it is not a milestone like walking or saying the first word. It is a process that begins during the first days of life and continues to flourish through the early years and beyond. The tasks consist of: a good self-concept and self-esteem; the ability to express and manage feelings; the ability to empathize with others; and the ability to negotiate and problem-solve. Of course, these abilities are not static. As adults, we may struggle with any one of these issues at any given time in our lives depending on the struggles or challenges that we face. This is certainly true for children too. Their ability to draw on emotional resources will be challenged by the circumstances of their lives and their developmental level.

But what does attachment have to do with developing healthy emotions in children?

Attachment develops out of responsive interactions with a primary caregiver — a parent or any other long-term care provider. When a child views a person or persons as a “secure base,” they are able to explore their world knowing that it is a relatively safe place and that they are protected from those things that may be viewed as unsafe (Leiberman, 1991). The interactions they experience with trusted people are relatively consistent, comforting and predictable over time. From these relationships, the child learns that “I am understood. I am secure and safe.” Children who, as infants, have secure attachments with their primary caregiver(s), demonstrate greater social and exploratory competence than do insecurely attached children.

What happens when there is no consistent pattern of positive interactions to offer those messages over time? The child’s sense of mastery is certainly diminished. If he has learned that his needs are not understood or responded to, he feels he has no ability to impact on his world. The world, therefore, becomes unpredictable and chaotic and he may respond to it that way. It is difficult for him to learn about his own feelings when no one has conveyed understanding of them to him. To take the next larger leap to understanding the feeling of others is a monumental task. His self-concept is also thwarted as he learns that no one “listens;” he internalizes this to mean “I am not worthy.” Children may test this theory or negative image of themselves over and over again by provoking the people around them and thus completing a circle of rejection (Landy, 1991).

Modulating or regulating emotional states is also jeopardized when the caregiver of the infant or toddler is unable to respond appropriately to the expression of a wide range of emotion. When a toddler releases strong emotions, typically an adult is there to support, interpret and help contain that energy. It can be a frightening thing to lose control but, with a trusted adult’s support, the experience can be internalized and overcome. When these positive and predictable experiences don’t exist, the child has no opportunity to learn to control his own emotions (Shore, 1997).

The ability to problem-solve is very much contingent on the ability to manage emotions. A three year old child cannot learn the art of negotiating with another child if his anger drives him to continually lash out. Of course, all three year old children are just learning these controls so there will inevitably be physical altercations. Some children however, resort to aggression as an immediate and prolonged strategy to coping with their environment. In early childhood settings, we often focus on the behaviour as the problem; indeed it is a problem to the smooth functioning of a playroom. However, we also need to look at what processes might be missing for children and why. Sometimes it stems from early experiences that have not included predictable and responsive interactions. Some children show symptoms like aggression and lack of impulse control, while others may show signs of withdrawal, sadness or a generally joyless demeanor (Shore, 1997).

Many educators are now aware of a body of research that identifies the physiological impact that negative experiences have on brain development in the first 6 years. Now there is science that attempts to interpret the interplay between experience, brain physiology and behavioural outcomes (Estey, MacIsaac & Rendell-MacDonald, 1999; Shore, 1997; McCain & Mustard, 1999). Technology offers an explanation of what intuitive caregivers have known for a long time — tuning into children’s cues and responding to them makes for better adjusted children and better future citizens.

Does all this sound grim? It isn’t really when we examine the unique position that early childhood educators are in to effect change in children’s and families’ lives. The opportunity exists to support the development of positive and responsive interactions between caregiver and child, child and parent, and parent and caregiver. It does require that we look beyond the mechanics of managing behaviour. Certainly behaviour guidance techniques are important but relying on them to fix behaviour difficulties in isolation of the broader context, will be frustrating for all involved.

A few ideas follow for how child care providers can assist in healthy attachment and positive emotional growth. These strategies can be applied to any early childhood environment, whether insecure attachments are suspected or not.

Between Caregiver and Child

Constancy of caregiver is important for every child but particularly for those with insecure attachments. Consider moving the teacher up to the next age level to maintain relationships with children.
Interrupt the circle of rejection by demonstrating that the child’s anger will not drive you away. “Stay with” their anger by allowing it to be vented but by containing destructive or hurtful action.
Attempt to interpret feelings. For example, “I wonder if you are feeling sad.”
Consider assigning the same teacher to a child throughout the day, especially during routines and transition times.
Build in one-to-one time in which you play with the child on the floor on a daily basis.
Keep the environment consistent. For example, do no move the furniture and toys around frequently. Always have the child sit in the same place at lunchtime.
Establish sleeping, eating and bathroom routines.
Try to stick to a daily schedule. Preview with children what routine or activity is coming up. Making a sequence chart of the days events with pictures can help concretely identify what is going to happen next. Prepare the children for changes in an established routine.
Keep pictures of teachers accessible for children. Comment on them when a teacher is absent or leaves the centre.
Offer opportunities for small group peer experiences.
Provide cozy and private spaces in the room so children have a chance to “get away” from the bustle of the playroom.
Adopt supportive behaviour guidance techniques in which feelings are addressed.

Between Parent and Child
For the Child:

Place pictures of the child with family members around the room at child level or in an accessible book. Take time throughout the day to comment on who is in the pictures.
Play peek-a-boo with the pictures.
Comment on where parents are throughout the day and what they might be doing eg. "mommy is at work. Maybe she is talking on the telephone or writing with a pencil” or “Mommy is at home. Maybe she is doing the laundry so you have clean clothes to wear”.
Comment on parents “missing” their children when they are apart.
Use toy telephones to have pretend conversations with parents.
Ask parents to write a brief note to their child to keep in their pocket during the day, such as eg. “mommy back a 4" or “I love you.”
Play peek-a-boo games to practise the idea of going-away-and-coming back. Even preschool children enjoy this game.
Make real phone calls between the child and parent.
Ask parents to tape record favourite stories or songs and play them at school.
Allow children to keep something of their parents with them during the day, such as a scarf.
Allow children to bring special toys or comfort objects from home.

For the Parent:

Keep them “in charge”. Ask them simple caretaking questions, like “Do you want Jimmy to wear his snow pants today?” Convey the message that they are the expert on their child’s needs.
Be sure to tell parents when children talk about them during the day.
Make phone calls to parents during the day to tell them the good things.
Be sure the parent gives the child a proper goodbye and explain how important it is for their child. Assure them that any upset is usually temporary.
Help build excitement when the parent arrives at the end of the day. Explain to parents that lots of children have difficulty making the transition from school to home and that any ambivalent behaviour may simply be a reflection of that difficulty.
Help parents to enjoy their children. Invite them to sit at the playdough table with their child. Any opportunity that helps you to teach the parent how to play will benefit the relationship.

Sarah Uffelmann is currently a parent educator at Childreach in London, Ontario. This article was written in her former role as Resource Consultant at Madame Vanier Children’s Services also located in London, Ontario.

References
Estey, N., MacIsaac, M. & Rendell-MacDonald, S. (1999). Learning Begins. Charlottetown, PEI: Learning and Reading Partners Adult Learning System.
Landy, S. (1991). “Understanding and Treating the Hyperaggressive Toddler.” Zero to Three, February.
Leiberman, A. (1991). “Attachment and exploration: The toddler’s dilemma.” Zero to Three, February.
McCain, M. & Mustard F. (1999).Early Years Study ,Reversing the Real Brain Drain. Toronto: The Canadian Institute of Advanced Research.
Shore, R. (1997). Rethinking the brain: New Insights into early development. New York, New York: Families and Work Institute.